Wish Upon (2017)

Okay so you're either gonna be in this demographic or you're not. I definitely am. By that I don't mean the probable target for the film, I mean people that enjoy bad horrors. I like a silly horror movie, I like horror cliches, I like American high school cliches, I'll take it all. I don't discriminate, I enjoy horrors of all qualities. Wish Upon hits that up. A teenage girl finds a magical box that grants wishes but everything comes with a price.


Joey King plays protagonist Clare Shannon, who's dumpster diving dad, who I will wholeheartedly discuss in a moment, finds a box covered in ancient Chinese writing. He gifts it to her as an early birthday present to which she says, sure I'll make a wish, what's the worse that can happen? Death is the answer to that. Somewhat interesting concept for a modern horror, which was enough to pique my interest. I figured even if it wasn't very good she's still gotta wish and the box still has to mess things up so even if it's bad, stuff is going on. 

It's pretty funny, the best friend characters almost get a few chuckles in and same with the mean clique but most of the jokes come from the cliches and not from them trying to be funny. Some of the deaths are pretty comical, I won't ruin any but they're all pretty predictable. There's a girl fight in the high school that's also pretty funny. To the point where it almost appears as the cast think it's pretty silly too. The acting wasn't great, it didn't need to be but it wasn't great. I thought King was okay until I saw everything else she's been in and now I think with all that under her belt she should be better. Her friend Ryan Hui is played by 30 year old Ki Hong Lee, who played Dong in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. And her dad is played by Ryan Phillippe. 

Let talk about Phillippe. I forgot how long ago Cruel Intentions was. It's long enough ago that he is old enough to play a dad now. And I'm gonna be straight with you, he's pretty dilfy. So he dumpster dives, for what exactly I don't know, just stuff of value. He wears a big jacket and a beanie and hasn't shaved in a little while. He also has a saxophone for some reason. After seeing him dumpster dive yet again Clare gets annoyed and wishes for her dad to no longer embarrass her. So he shaves. That's legit it, he shaves and plays his sax again and her friends suddenly realise he's hot because they didn't know him in 1997. This is one of the silly wishes. It feels more like there was an idea for a death and so they thought up a mediocre wish to justify it. The box specifies 7 wishes, which let's be real, is about 4 too many. 

It was well rounded enough, hinted at things at the beginning, became full circle. Script was alright but a little messy, writer Barbara Marshall hasn't written many features. The director John R. Leonetti has an odd mix of works behind him, having director, cinematographer and camera department credits. Cinematography was whatever, nothing in particular, had a few classic horror shots, edited in an over zealous manner to some standard horror music. Pretty average as far as that goes.

It's not a great movie, but interesting enough. I had a lot of fun watching this and I know I will watch it again. It's like one of those films you see on Netlflix and say, sure I've got a time to spare, I'll try it. Again, if you're a fan of silly horrors, this will be right up your alley, if not, you probably won't find many merits. 

A high five out of ten if you will. If you're looking for the next classic horror to chill you to the bone, this is not it. But honestly, it's a good laugh with friends, just a reminder that a movie doesn't have to be good to enjoy it. 5/10

CINEMATES  - A